Let’s be real—asking your partner if they want to experiment with a dildo (or any SEXTOY) can feel a little scary, even in the most loving relationship. You might already have fantastic chemistry in bed, but curiosity knocks every now and then: what if we added something new and fun?
The truth? SEXTOYs won’t magically fix relationship struggles—but they will give you more options to laugh, explore, and discover new pleasure together. So if you’ve been wondering how to bring this up without making things awkward, these playful tips will help you spark the conversation confidently.
1. Be Honest (But Sweet About It)
Sometimes the simplest approach is the best. Try saying: “I love being with you, and I think it could be really fun if we explored a SEXTOY together. What do you think?” It’s direct, respectful, and shows that your interest comes from wanting shared excitement—not from any dissatisfaction.
2. Flirt and Compliment
Compliments are sexy, and sadly, people forget to give them once a relationship settles into routine. Try this: “You look so hot when you [insert action here]. Imagine how wild it would get if we added a SEXTOY.” Playful praise not only boosts confidence, it frames the toy as a new way to celebrate your partner’s body.
3. Add Humor
If you both love to laugh, lean into your inner comedian. Joke about “the world’s silliest monster-shaped SEXTOY” or an exaggeratedly cartoonish one. Humor makes taboo topics less intimidating and lets your partner know you’re approaching it with fun, not pressure.
4. Get a Little Kinky
Already comfortable talking fantasies? Then you can spice it up: “Have you ever thought about trying double stimulation with a dildo while I join in?” Framing the toy as part of an erotic scenario transforms it from an awkward suggestion into a hot opportunity.
Choosing the Right SEXTOY Together
Once you both say “yes,” it’s time for toy shopping! Keep these factors in mind when picking your first SEXTOY:
- Realistic vs. fantasy: Do you want something that looks lifelike, or something colorful and artistic?
- Size: Beginners should start small-to-average before exploring larger toys.
- Angles: G-spot or prostate shapes can bring targeted pleasure.
- Color & style: From discreet skin tones to bold rainbow swirls, the look matters more than you think.
Talking about preferences together is not only practical—it’s part of the fun.
Your First SEXTOY Play Session
So you’ve got the toy—now what?
- Set the mood with relaxation first.
- Get aroused through foreplay before bringing the SEXTOY into play.
- Decide who’s in charge of the toy—sometimes switching roles is half the thrill.
- Don’t skip the lube! Go slow, let the body adjust, and build from there.
- Experiment with different angles or ways of holding it—you might just find a new favorite.
Common Worries to Let Go Of
- “Will a toy replace me?” Nope. SEXTOYs don’t hug you, laugh with you, or love you. They’re helpers, not replacements.
- Size fears: Toys come in all shapes, but pleasure is not a competition. What matters is connection, not measurements.
- Sexual shame: If you’ve been told sex toys are “dirty” or “wrong,” remember: your body, your rules. Exploring pleasure is one of the healthiest choices you can make.
Final Thoughts
Introducing a SEXTOY into your relationship should be exciting, not terrifying. Approach it with honesty, humor, and curiosity, and you’ll find that the conversation can be a bonding moment all on its own. Whether you’re giggling about a silly design or discovering new sensations together, the important part is this: you’re sharing intimacy in a fresh and playful way.
